From my friend Jean, who borrowed my umbrella on Friday night (my favorite bit in bold)...
i borrowed and then lost your umbrella.
more accurately, i borrowed then drank too much and left your umbrella at a bar on the lower east side after babysitting it all night long like it was my kid sister.
i'm an idiot. i hope you can forgive me. i'll order you a new one right away. please give me your work address immediately.
your bad friend,
jean.
p.s. i really hope that wasn't your special, sentimental umbrella. oh god. i feel awful.
